about the children and moving forward without Ken
Q.And I think everyone wants to know??? Are you going to write about how you are coping with Kens death??
A. I don't think so and I will tell you why, I cannot write about myself like that. I can only write metaphorical. Um I think the world knows by now how I am coping. There are way to many self help books about greif. Everyday thinks you know you experience it and there an expert. Well when they said it is different for everyone , it is. There is no rule book on parenting or being a spouse and there is no guide really on this.
Q. How are you coping right in the here and now?
A. I would say I am totally great and back to my old self. I am already prone to depression , because of mother and my oldest daughter. So it is a battle. You know I wish I could go to a bar and drink it and party and make all go away for awhile and be reckless. But I have children to be responsibe for and that adds up and I have to do the right thing. I cannot like I said be weak and give in to those temptations.
Q. How is life after Ken
A. Not very happy around here, its like living in slow motion constantly, even for the kids. I never ever had to take on the responsibilities of a parent fully. I always had someone there. And its a struggle to adapt not being held everynight. Not feeling him kiss me on the check, or brushing his fingers through my7 hair and besides the sex thing. I think I miss that the most.
Q. do you sleep at night?
A. Not at first, I was up all hours crying and even in my sleep and I was loud. I am not a quite person anyway. um I would have dreams of chasing him or trying to find him and he was not there, or him trying to find me, or him telling me he was a live. That was a hurtful dream. I am a congative dreamer. So my dreams can get intense at times. So not at the begining not so much. But now I just get tired quicker. This has been an emotional rollorcoaster for me. I have to see a theripist twice a week.